Just a little rant

Dear US Army,
I honor your values & traditions, I have the upmost respect for you as an entity and for those men & women who serve. I get that your needs come before mine & those of my family, that when Obi-Wan signed the dotted line, we agreed to put aside our desires so he could do his duty to you. However, tonight I REALLY am not liking you too much, I am struggling with your needs over my family's desires.
People ask me what the hardest part of Obi-wan being gone is, really it is not the lonely nights when I can't sleep for worry and do not have him to talk to, those times we have limited communication, missed birthdays, anniversaries or holidays. It is not even those little things in life he has to miss to be where you need him...it is the nights like to tonight when I have to hold one of my babies who is crying her heart out over missing her daddy and the fear she has for his safety. This is when I question: "Is it worth it?" Even so, deep in my heart I know it is, but for this night, this moment, I will not like you and maybe even be a little angry with you.
Sincerely,
Just Another Guard Wife

Wow! Its been 7 months!

As you might have noticed, I am not the best at keeping up with blog posts.  I cannot believe it has been 7 months, so much has gone on during this time. I have been busy, to say the least...but that is to be expected.  Where to start? How about month by month (give or take), beginning with June.
June 2011: This month was full of lots of fun things the most important being Obi-Wan's 4 day pass. (Yes, GI Joe has had a name change, more about that in a moment.) I drove down to MS with another wife from the unit...we bonded to say the least, thanks to a broken air compressor for the AC and 'aliens in the cornfields.' 

This is my partner in crime & battle buddy: "The Mrs." as we begun our trip to see our men. What a fun drive we had yelling at each other, laughing, drinking energy drinks and being postively giddy to be with the love of our life's.  I would like to say we went through some beautiful country, but to be honest, I'm not sure, we drove through the night. However, I can say a beautiful friendship was born that night. These past few months would have been unbearable without her & the other wonderful women God has blessed me with.

Upon arriving on post, where we thought we'd catch a nap in the car until the guys were dismissed, we found out they would be let out early...so much for a nap, but the trade off was well worth it. We immediately left for Biloxi/Gulf Port.

Our motel was a block away from the beach. That evening we walked down there. Other than the wind, it was nice, not a lot of humidity like there was further north on Post, but warm enough to be comfortable in shorts.





 

Spiderman

"After You

One of the evenings there we met "The Mr. & Mrs." at their hotel, where they were staying with his parents who had come down to visit also. Dinner by the pool, followed by some good natured frolicking.

 

Another day, we took a boat ride out to 'Ship Island.' (*note to self* spray on suntan lotion, even sport/waterproof type doesn't work worth a hoot). We were on the Island from 10am until about 4pm. Even with several applications of sunblock we ended up burned, some of us worse than the other...nothing is worse than spending one of your few precious days before your husband leaves for months with 2nd degree burns that negate any type of touch, no matter how innocent!

We still had fun. The boat ride was about 50 minute and we saw some dolphins on the way over. Once there we were privy to pristine white beaches for the most part, there was some evidence of the oil spill. I am not sure exactly how close we were to actual spill site, if it was close they did an awesome job of cleaning it up.  We collected some shells, teased "The Mrs." about never being in the ocean before, exasperating her & freaking her out when "The Mr." would dive underwater and swim up behind her to grab her. Ofcourse the schools of fish that would swim right up to and around you or the 'jumping fish' did not help either.

Our last night, our men had to report back by midnight. We were able to go to one last dinner and pretend for just a little while longer we were just normal couples hanging out on vacation together.

It was hard to say good-bye that night...letting him go was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I know I had done it before but this time was different...I could not have done it without the strength of God. Bittersweet, my heart was swelling with pride even as it was breaking. For my husband, our children, our friends...all the families that have had to say 'good-bye' to their loved ones.

The next morning, in the harsh reality of day light, "The Mrs." and I were facing the long trip home. Her mother-in-law came to the rescue & gave us a gift and told us to stop and do something fun on the way home. We were returning via Memphis and where MUST you stop if in Memphis? Graceland ofcourse. Because this post has been long I will continue in another.

Finally a foot in the door

Last weekend I had the opportunity to attend a yellow ribbon workshop with GI Joe and his unit. Besides, the night away without the munchkins, the briefings were very informative. (These are open to not only to spouses and children but other family members of soldiers, so if you have a child, sibling, boy/girlfriend, fiance who will be deploying, I would encourage you to try to attend the one put on for their unit.) I have never been able to attend one of these before. The first deployment did not offer such an opportunity until reintegration and by then GI Joe was leaving on TDY orders. We are in a semi-unique situation, I say semi because it really is not that uncommon in the ANG; however, I believe he is the only man in his unit in this position...but I could be wrong. He is on loan to a unit that is not his home unit. Therefore, I know even less than usual, no names, no faces, notta.

However, last weekend changed all this. While there was a bit of information overload, there was more than enough useful resources to make up for it. Saturday was a general briefing and overview of different services available. Sunday was made up of break away sessions where you could choose which topics you really wanted to know more about.  I was able to meet not only my fearless FRG leader, (that would be family readiness group, again, open to anyone who has a loved one serving, not just spouses.), but also several of our state family support operatives. (No, that really is not their title, but should be.) I am excited, and my anxiety levels have already dropped. This group seems to not only have it together, but I also have other resources available to me if for some reason the FRG fails in its mission.

I AM NOT ALONE!!! I cannot begin to explain the waves of giddiness that engulfed me. One of the most difficult things for me in the first deployment was lack of information and lack of connectedness, since we were in a similar situation. I expected the loneliness of missing GI Joe, but was not anticipating the "alone-ness" of not having a support system in place, something I touched on with my introductory post. I was determined to do everything in my power not to experience that again. I refused to leave after general session until I was able to meet our FRG leader and offer my support, I hooked up with several of the family support operatives and am even going to attend some training. In general I have made a nuisance of myself and will continue to do so.  In short, I shoved my foot in the door and I am not going anywhere.

GI Joe was laughing at me on the way home as I excitedly talked about the information we learned and tried to sort it all out. Needless to say, he got "the look" during the following conversation:
GI Joe: "I don't know what you are excited about I have heard all this before."
Me:     "Um, really? You know my need for information and you didn't think it was necessary to pass it on?"
GI Joe: "Honey, I said I heard it, not necessarily retained it. Anyways, I don't know which parts of the information you want to know"
Me: "mmmm, try ALL OF IT!"
Yeah, I know, after 8 years of marriage we still have to work out this communication thing. However, another thing I learned was that I am not the only spouse who has to deal with lack of information. At least I am not alone.