Just a little rant

Dear US Army,
I honor your values & traditions, I have the upmost respect for you as an entity and for those men & women who serve. I get that your needs come before mine & those of my family, that when Obi-Wan signed the dotted line, we agreed to put aside our desires so he could do his duty to you. However, tonight I REALLY am not liking you too much, I am struggling with your needs over my family's desires.
People ask me what the hardest part of Obi-wan being gone is, really it is not the lonely nights when I can't sleep for worry and do not have him to talk to, those times we have limited communication, missed birthdays, anniversaries or holidays. It is not even those little things in life he has to miss to be where you need him...it is the nights like to tonight when I have to hold one of my babies who is crying her heart out over missing her daddy and the fear she has for his safety. This is when I question: "Is it worth it?" Even so, deep in my heart I know it is, but for this night, this moment, I will not like you and maybe even be a little angry with you.
Sincerely,
Just Another Guard Wife

Why am I doing this?

So here I am again, giving blogging another shot. Why am I doing this you ask? Well to be honest there are several reasons, none of which is to feed any narcissism. The idea actually came to me the other night while text chatting with one of my sisters-in-law. I had shared with her that I had been interviewed by another blogger from a military spouse blog I discovered during our last deployment about my thoughts & feelings on deployment. After which I emailed her a link...her response: "the blog post is so cool, wow **** I didn't really know what it's like and happy to hear that there are other wives you can connect with...isn't blogging the best...thanks for sharing this with me!"  I thought, you know the whole point of that posting was about loneliness & my particular situation of being a ANG wife whose husband has yet to deploy with his own unit, which leaves something to be desired in the connecting with other spouses in the same situation. So why not do something about it? From the responses on said post, it seems I am not alone.

Those of us whose spouses serve in the Guard, and Reserve or Active duty away from post, are at the disadvantage of not having a built in community of those who truly understand where we are coming from.  I love my family & friends, they have been supportive, however, unless you are or have gone through it, you just cannot understand. Even my sister who is retired from the military once responded to the effect that she has never been on this side of if so cannot completely understand. So it is my hope that maybe someone out there will read this and think, "I'm not alone, I'm not going crazy, this is 'normal' or at least as close as it gets."

So be prepared to follow the crazy adventures of one bubble headed wife & mother, one drama queen, one prima donna as we prepare for and live through another deployment.