I just realized the other day that my husband will be gone within 2 months. While we have confirmation of his unit, we still do not have a report date. The reality of it can be enormous. This will be our second overseas deployment, this one so far is vastly different from the previous one. For instance: "I've had time to prepare" for it, I thought I was prepared, believed I had plan A, B, C and D in place. However, I'm not. I mean I SO AM NOT!!! All plans go out the window when you're rocking along in life and suddenly realize the day you thought was so far away, is just around the corner.
This is a bit of a schizophrenic time for me. I want it to slow down, want to be able to spend as much time with GI Joe as possible. I want our family to make as many memories as possible before he deploys. Then there are the moments when I about half wish he were already gone, after all, the sooner he leaves the sooner he will return, right?
Crazy I know. I have to keep reminding myself to focus on the here and now, something that can be difficult for a planner, to not worry about tomorrow. Matthew 6:34 "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today." (NLT). This has caused me to become more protective of my family time. I'm going to be very selfish over the next weeks, especially as his deployment date draws near.
*Note* After drafting this last night for posting today, GI Joe received a drill letter stating all pertinent dates for the next 3 months. This includes going away ceremony and later the actual Mobilization date. We've been waiting on this for months, expecting it, yet as he showed me I felt that "punched in the gut" feeling. Ok, so now this is really real. Now we can begin the countdown in earnest.
Showing posts with label planning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label planning. Show all posts
January 22, 2011
December 15, 2010
Plans A, B, C and D
I am a planner, I LOVE to plan things, to the point of being OCD about it. Inevitably I have plans A,B,C and sometimes D, with plans A, B, C and sometimes D for each of those. So while I have been accused of being flighty or flexible by certain parties, depending on how charitble said party is being, in reality I like to be prepared. Does life ever follow my plans, rarely. However it gives me that wonderful sense of "security."
Why do I say all this, to preface this: I HATE LIMBO! Seriously, for about 6 months now we have been in a state of semi-limbo. Upon returning from TDY orders last spring GI Joe was informed that one of the state Brigades were to deploy end of 2010 to early 2011. While his particular unit was not, they would be pulling soldiers to help fill empty slots left by guardsmen who would be unable to deploy. Thus decision number 1: to volunteer or wait to be "voluntold." GI Joe & I decided on the former...thus begins plan A. One thing that any good planner knows: proper and accurate information is needed in order to properly plan. Anyone who has had any experience with the military knows that until you have written, signed orders in your hand nothing is a "go," even then it may not be necessarily true. So with lack of information, not only has plan A been designed but also plan B.
To walk you through the process it goes something like this: (Brace yourself for a glimpse of how my brain works.) Okay, GI Joe could be potentionally leaving in 6-8 months again. Having just returned from TDY, what needs to be done before he leaves again. Such things as discuss handling of finances while he is gone, what predeployment training will there be, the personal paperwork such as living wills, which type of POA's do we think we'll need (found out last deployment, a lot of places will no longer accept a general POA on behalf of a servicemember as a protection to them.), dealing with reintegration while having the shadow of deployment there, getting GI Joe out to see his parents, who he hasn't seen since right before deploying last time, having "that talk" again, you know the one where we decide what to do, if heaven forbid ,only his big toe makes it back. Hmmm, maybe this time he'll actually make a decision instead of "whatever you want babe, I don't care" But that is a whole other topic. Then ofcourse as we rock along, after each drill we have the following conversation:
Me: Have you heard anything about deploying?
GIJ: No honey, I will tell you when
Me: Are they deploying for sure?
GIJ: Pretty sure, nothing official announced
Me: Do they have any idea of timetable yet?
At this point GI Joe tends to roll his eyes: When I know something you'll know something.
Me: Well what happened to the "be prepared to leave for pre-deployment by November"?
GIJ: I dunno, that's what Sgt. ************** said. He doesn't know either, just passing down the information.
Me walking away breathing deeply
However it doesn't always work like that. For instance, because I watch the news & have several friends who knew he was probably going to deploy, I knew & informed GI Joe of the Brigades official announcement of deployment in spring or early summer. GI Joe happened to be away at a two week training at the time. He heard the next day through official channels, after I had told him. By this time I am pretty much planning on the call 2 weeks before he has to go again, which reqiures revsions to plans B,C,D and all subplans. Shortly thereafter I was pleasantly surprized by GI Joe when he told me he was picked up by a unit, FINALLY the real planning can begin. (Don't get me wrong, I really don't want to get rid of my husband, most days, but as I said I like to have plans in place.) Only to be told his Sgt. looked at the wrong list, he wasn't picked up yet. *ARGH*
When about 2 months ago my husband recieved notice that he was picked up by a unit, that seemed to have cement it in stone. He was to recieve transfer orders at the next drill. Woo-hoo, this is cause for my demented OCD planning brain to be excited. Lo and behold, he even returned from drill with transfer orders in hand. Now the next stage of waiting could begin, for his "new unit" to contact him....and wait we did. Finally after about a month, contact was made, the day before he was to report to drill with them. I sent him with requests for contact information for FRG, and whoever else I might need.
Guess what?! Appearently my hope that once orders, signed and given were in hand it was a done deal was wrong. GI Joe returned from drill with the news that there was every chance due to MOS reqiurements he may not go with this unit, (Which he really clicked with, ofcourse.), we would know in two weeks. There goes plans B and C. Not to mention, to me in two weeks means we should know by the end of this week, GI Joe informs me, much to my chagrin, "No, in two weeks means after two weeks." Hmmm, I think we need to review husband v. wife definitions again.
Why do I say all this, to preface this: I HATE LIMBO! Seriously, for about 6 months now we have been in a state of semi-limbo. Upon returning from TDY orders last spring GI Joe was informed that one of the state Brigades were to deploy end of 2010 to early 2011. While his particular unit was not, they would be pulling soldiers to help fill empty slots left by guardsmen who would be unable to deploy. Thus decision number 1: to volunteer or wait to be "voluntold." GI Joe & I decided on the former...thus begins plan A. One thing that any good planner knows: proper and accurate information is needed in order to properly plan. Anyone who has had any experience with the military knows that until you have written, signed orders in your hand nothing is a "go," even then it may not be necessarily true. So with lack of information, not only has plan A been designed but also plan B.
To walk you through the process it goes something like this: (Brace yourself for a glimpse of how my brain works.) Okay, GI Joe could be potentionally leaving in 6-8 months again. Having just returned from TDY, what needs to be done before he leaves again. Such things as discuss handling of finances while he is gone, what predeployment training will there be, the personal paperwork such as living wills, which type of POA's do we think we'll need (found out last deployment, a lot of places will no longer accept a general POA on behalf of a servicemember as a protection to them.), dealing with reintegration while having the shadow of deployment there, getting GI Joe out to see his parents, who he hasn't seen since right before deploying last time, having "that talk" again, you know the one where we decide what to do, if heaven forbid ,only his big toe makes it back. Hmmm, maybe this time he'll actually make a decision instead of "whatever you want babe, I don't care" But that is a whole other topic. Then ofcourse as we rock along, after each drill we have the following conversation:
Me: Have you heard anything about deploying?
GIJ: No honey, I will tell you when
Me: Are they deploying for sure?
GIJ: Pretty sure, nothing official announced
Me: Do they have any idea of timetable yet?
At this point GI Joe tends to roll his eyes: When I know something you'll know something.
Me: Well what happened to the "be prepared to leave for pre-deployment by November"?
GIJ: I dunno, that's what Sgt. ************** said. He doesn't know either, just passing down the information.
Me walking away breathing deeply
However it doesn't always work like that. For instance, because I watch the news & have several friends who knew he was probably going to deploy, I knew & informed GI Joe of the Brigades official announcement of deployment in spring or early summer. GI Joe happened to be away at a two week training at the time. He heard the next day through official channels, after I had told him. By this time I am pretty much planning on the call 2 weeks before he has to go again, which reqiures revsions to plans B,C,D and all subplans. Shortly thereafter I was pleasantly surprized by GI Joe when he told me he was picked up by a unit, FINALLY the real planning can begin. (Don't get me wrong, I really don't want to get rid of my husband, most days, but as I said I like to have plans in place.) Only to be told his Sgt. looked at the wrong list, he wasn't picked up yet. *ARGH*
When about 2 months ago my husband recieved notice that he was picked up by a unit, that seemed to have cement it in stone. He was to recieve transfer orders at the next drill. Woo-hoo, this is cause for my demented OCD planning brain to be excited. Lo and behold, he even returned from drill with transfer orders in hand. Now the next stage of waiting could begin, for his "new unit" to contact him....and wait we did. Finally after about a month, contact was made, the day before he was to report to drill with them. I sent him with requests for contact information for FRG, and whoever else I might need.
Guess what?! Appearently my hope that once orders, signed and given were in hand it was a done deal was wrong. GI Joe returned from drill with the news that there was every chance due to MOS reqiurements he may not go with this unit, (Which he really clicked with, ofcourse.), we would know in two weeks. There goes plans B and C. Not to mention, to me in two weeks means we should know by the end of this week, GI Joe informs me, much to my chagrin, "No, in two weeks means after two weeks." Hmmm, I think we need to review husband v. wife definitions again.
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